Chemo

 I'm not great at updating.  I started chemo the week after Thanksgiving.  I also am receiving immunotherapy drugs that help the cancer fight itself.  I will only receive the immunotherapy every 3rd week and the chemotherapy I go in weekly for.  The first week wasn't too bad, but took forever.  They are looking for allergic reactions so they run them slower.  I did have a reaction to one of the immunotherapy drugs but they then gave me Benadryl and flushed the line.  I was just having a harder time breathing but my oxygen levels never dipped. It just felt like I was breathing through a straw.   Once the reaction had slowed down they ran the rest of the medicine and I didn't have any further problems with it. The first day took from 9 am - 5 pm because of the reaction.  My aunt came with me to spend the day and it was fun chatting when I wasn't sleeping.  

The 2nd time I went in for chemo I had caught one of my kids colds and didn't feel great.  My white blood cells were a low and they decided to hold off so my body could fight whatever it was I had.  They gave me fluids and they also had me visit my primary care Dr. so we could rule out viral sicknesses like the flu and COVID.  It ended up not being either of those so they had me start antibiotics which helped a lot.  I had an ear infection by the time I went to my primary care Dr that afternoon so I was glad that we were able to start the antibiotics because it didn't feel great.  When I was at my oncologist my ear didn't even hurt. 

This week was supposed to be my 3rd week of chemo but ended up being my 2nd since we skipped last week.  On Tuesday, when I received the chemo I didn't feel bad at all.  Wednesday also wasn't so bad.  Thursday though I didn't feel great at all.  It felt kind of like morning sickness.  I go in every Friday to receive fluids and that helped a lot.  I definitely feel a lot better now than I did then.  The chemo also made everything taste like medicine without flavoring...maybe like if you chewed up a Tylenol that was supposed to be swallowed.  I was very happy when food started tasting normal today.  

Overall everything has been great.  We are very thankful for everyone that has helped us from giving gifts, cleaning and folding laundry, helping go through clothes and organize, reading to our children, driving kids to piano, dance, and work,  taking me to chemo, checking in with a call or a text and everything else everyone has helped with.  We feel very loved and appreciate all that everyone has done.  I feel like we can never say thank you enough. Don't hesitate to ask questions.  I don't mind answering them at all.  

Port Placement & Brain MRI

 Last Thursday I had my port placed for easier access for chemotherapy.  The port is a plastic device that was placed under my skin right up by my collar bone on the right side.  I had to be there bright and early at 6 am. Everything went well with check-in and the surgery.  They told me I'd probably wake up right out of the surgery but it took me about an hour. After the port placement we went over for my radiation appointment that was supposed to be at 7:30.  We didn't get there until 11:00 but they were great at working us in since we had had surgery. 

I went home afterward and spent most of the rest of the day slipping in and out of sleep in my bedroom.  We told the kids to work together and leave me alone so I could rest.  They actually did a really great job. It has taken me almost the entire week to feel better.  There was a lot of bruising to other muscles in my shoulder and chest.  It feels kind of weird knowing that there is something under my skin all the time.  I'm hoping that I just get so used to it that I don't notice at all. 

Monday, I had 2 MRI's done.  One was my thoracic spine because the lumbar MRI showed that the tumors on my spine went up into my thoracic spine.  Luckily the only thoracic vertebrae affected are the same ones they could see on the lumbar MRI.  It made us feel very happy to find that out.  The 2nd MRI was of my brain.  We just wanted to verify that the cancer hadn't moved to my brain yet.  I have never been so happy to find out that my brain is "unremarkable" :) we were so happy to have a 2nd bit of good news because up until this point it felt like everything came back negative.  

I just finished my 10 days of radiation on my spine today.  Next week on Tuesday I start chemotherapy.  I'm nervous but it also helps me feel like we are doing something to take care of and kick the cancer out. 

Radiation

 When we found out that he cancer had metastasized to my spine, the doctors decided I needed to have radiation to shrink the tumors on my spine.  They are pressing against my spinal cord and they don't want it to cause paralysis.  I also am waiting on my port being placed tomorrow and they can't start chemo until after that so they wanted to start something they can work on in the meantime. I am having 10 days of radiation.  They originally said it wouldn't cause any side effects. After my first appointment, they realized that it was a large area they were treating and would probably cause nausea and vomiting, which it has.  It also makes me extremely tired, but I have learned that naps and nausea meds are my friends. :) I just finished my 5th treatment today so I am over half way done! 

Tomorrow I get my port placed and then after Thanksgiving we will start chemotherapy.  It is planned on going on for quite a long time until my body can't handle it anymore or they need to try a new chemotherapy drug.  They are also planning on doing immunotherapy drugs with the chemo which will help fight my specific type of breast cancer.  We are extremely hopeful that all this will work and shrink and even kill the tumors. (doctors haven't said they can be killed completely, but that is my hope and prayer).

I do have another MRI scheduled for Monday as well.  The first MRI was just my lumbar spine.  This one is supposed to be Thoracic spine and Brain. We just want to make sure it hasn't spread elsewhere that they didn't see before.  The PET scan they originally did showed a tumor on my L4 vertebra but when they did the MRI it showed tumors from L5 to T 10 which was as high as they could see on that MRI.  They weren't expecting that because the PET scan is typically a better scan.  That is why we are doing further scans to see if it goes farther then we saw.  I haven't had a ton of brain symptoms of cancer but have had headaches so that is why we are doing that scan to rule anything out.    

Breast Cancer

 Over the last month our life has been turned upside down.  We got the dreaded diagnosis nobody every sees coming.  I have breast cancer. It is stage 4 metastatic, invasive ductal cancer. It has spread to my bones and my lungs. It is also estrogen dominant, progesterone dominant and HER2 +.  All of that just means it aggressive, but along with that it means there are cool ways they can use treatments to allow the cancer to attack itself.  

    Everyone always asks how it happened, how we found out.  I can go way back and say that when I was pregnant with Ben I had a small lump in my right breast but 2 gynecologists and a dermatologist in the last 6 years have all said it was nothing.  I have large breasts and it is normal for them to be lumpy.  Now we know that isn't the case as the largest lump has grown from an eraser head to about 3 cm. (apparently the size of a bouncy ball?) This last couple years I have been tired, but I have 7 kids so it was to be expected especially since the youngest is 2.  I also started having breast pain earlier this year, but if you look up breast cancer it says most breast cancer doesn't hurt so I didn't think anything of it. In the past year I've also had a lot of back pain, but I figured it was from not being in as good shape as I could be. I started going to a Physical Therapist in May to see if that could help since we had a family reunion planned for the summer and we were also going to travel to Pennsylvania and New York after the family reunion for a wedding and much needed family visiting.  The plan was to drive the entire way in two separate cars since we don't have a vehicle that fits everyone.  I really needed my back pain to be bearable so we could go.  The Physical Therapy helped a lot but didn't make everything 100% better.  

Our family went to Colorado in July for that family reunion.  While there we went to Pike's Peak which is 14,115 feet above sea level.  It is beautiful and tall, but it also made me feel like I couldn't breath great and I never really recovered after that.  Anytime I would go walking, especially up any small incline I would be short of breath.  The last day we were in Colorado as I was packing and preparing to head to Ohio, I was really struggling with a lot of pain in my right side of the chest and breathing.  I asked my mom who is a nurse practitioner about it and she said it could possibly be costochondritis and to take Advil to see if it helped.  It did! I was so happy and figured we'd figured out our problem. She did say that if it didn't resolve in a couple weeks to check with a doctor especially since I was having breast pain with it too. We finished our family vacation back east and had a great time visiting family and the Advil seemed to help any pain I was having so I figured it really was costochondritis.  My mom had mentioned my Physical Therapist might have exercises to help so I brought it up with him at my 1st appointment after we got back.  He had exercises that helped so I thought we were doing great other than the cough that had cropped up even though I hadn't been sick.  I thought I must have developed some asthma because of the high elevation we'd been at in Colorado. 

Fast forward a month  to end of August and I was having some worsening back pain again.  The physical therapist mentioned getting an MRI to see if I had a bulging disc but I declined because I told him I didn't want to do surgery since back surgery doesn't have a great success rate and he assured me that my exercises could fix a bulging disc. I can say that the exercises have helped a lot so when I found out about the metastases to my spine I was surprised... 

In late August, early September I started noticing swelling in my breast. I called my gynecologist and got in for an appointment so I could get a mammogram. I should have had one last year for my 40th birthday but various things got in the way... When I saw her she said she didn't feel any lumps and figured that the swelling was from an unsupportive bra. It eased my fears and I didn't worry too much when I called to schedule my mammogram and they didn't have any appointments available until October 6th. 

On October 6th, I went in for my scheduled mammogram.  When I got there they asked if I felt any lumps.  I told them that I did, but the doctors didn't.  They told me they couldn't see me that day and I needed to come back the next day when the radiologist was there to do a more in depth mammogram and ultrasound.  They said even if they did it that day that they radiologist wasn't going to be in until the next day so this was a better option for me to get results more quickly.  I went back October 7th and they did the mammogram and then sent me to do an ultrasound as well.  After the ultrasound, the tech said she was going to talk with the radiologist and come right back.  The radiologist ended up coming in and asked how Monday sounded for a biopsy. I was scared at this point.  Things has drastically changed from the normal, everything is fine line I'd been receiving for so long.

Monday morning we went in and they biopsied two lumps in my right breast and one in my armpit.  All came back as positive for breast cancer and thankfully they were all the same type of breast cancer.  It took us until Friday, October 14th to get the results which felt like an eternity.  It was one of the longest weeks of my life.

Since that appointment we have met with a radiation doctor, oncologist, and surgeon.  They all had one plan of action until we did our PET Scan and MRI which showed that the cancer had metastasized and then that changed our course of action. 

We are so thankful to everyone and your thoughts and prayers.  I testify that prayers are truly felt and have lifted us up.  It isn't easy and I don't think it will always be but right now we (I) have a lot of peace.  We are also thankful for all the help we have received from friends, family and ward members.  The outpouring of love from everyone has been amazing.  I will post more in further posts since this one is already long and all over the place :) 

More Blessings

 The month of December we felt very loved and blessed. We had 3 separate occasions where there was a knock on the door and somebody had left money in an envelope in some way or another. Another 3 times there were presents left: Once it was clothes for the kids, another time was books for the kids, and the third time it was a goodie basket with things for a movie night and gift cards for everyone in the family.  We felt overwhelmed with gratitude for the love shown to our family. As Christmas came and went we still wondered how everything would work out with Joe's work.  We continued to pray daily to ask for the Lord's help. We felt comfort and peace that everything would work out. On December 30th Joe still hadn't made the money that he needed to. One of the trainers at his work asked if he had contacted a specific family. He said no he hadn't but he would call them.  He called this family and they said they were good to meet the next day. He went to that appointment with hope because if they accepted what he was proposing he would be able to make the $9200 that he needed to in order to keep his job, but he didn't know if they would accept it.  When he got there they did say they were willing to accept it so he was able to make the money that he needed and he was able to keep his job with New York Life. We were amazed at how the Lord blessed us and answered our prayers.  We were also amazed at how everything came together.  It was a huge trial of our faith.  We knew what we were doing was what the Lord wanted us to do and we knew that he knew how it would happen but we didn't know the end during the trial. It definitely feels better being on this side of that trial.  This month since hasn't been a breeze when it comes to work for Joe, but it has definitely felt better having the money that we need to cover our bills. We have been able to get our cars fixed and pay some medical debt.  We are so thankful to our Heavenly Father for his hand in our lives. 

Blessings

 I am so thankful for my Heavenly Father.  I know that he knows me and loves me.  We've had rough year financially.  Joe has worked hard at his job but it is 100% commission which can be hard.  He was offered a job that would have been salary but would have started out lower than what we would have liked but had the potential to grow.  We seriously considered this job and prayed about it. We really felt like he wasn't supposed to take it and was supposed to continue with what he was doing.  We felt like if he had wanted an easier way we could do that job so we didn't have to stress so much about money every month, but that the lord would help us if we continued with his job but it wouldn't be easy.  Then a week later we learned that if he didn't make a certain amount of money by the end of the year (3 months) he would be fired January 1st.  We were really nervous once we found this out and wondered if we'd made the right choice.  Again, we felt that we had and to continue on our path. Now we are 2 months in with only 1 month left and he still hasn't made close to the amount he needs to make. I wonder often if it is going to happen, but I know that we are following what we have been asked to do. It isn't easy and I get stressed sometimes about it.  Just this last week though there have been several instances where we knew that our Heavenly Father knows us and is aware of us.  One day I was trying to decide what to make for dinner and I thought I would make soup but then realized we didn't have enough milk to last us the rest of the week if I made the soup I wanted to make.  I could have gone to the store but I didn't want to until Saturday.  Within 15 minutes a friend texted and asked if we could use a gallon of milk because she had a gallon that was expiring the next day. I knew right then that the Lord knows me and that was a simple way to show that he is there. The next week we were getting ready to go to my parents house for Thanksgiving, but we didn't have the money for gas.  I was stressing about it and trying to come up with a way to pay for it.  I thought maybe we could use some Walmart gift cards that we have but the closest Walmart gas station to us is 30 minutes in the wrong direction.  Soon there was knock on the door. It was another neighbor with a card with $100 in it.  It was enough to get us to and from my parent's house and pay for some prescriptions that we needed.  Again, I knew that Heavenly Father knows me and is there.  Then on Sunday Joe decided to go talk to the bishop to seek advice.  He thought maybe he would be able to tell us what we could do. He said he didn't have any advice but during the conversation he learned that we had borrowed $60 from Maddie to help pay for a test Joe needs to take for work.  He said just this week he found $60 in an envelope that had been slipped under his door.  He said he didn't know what to do with it, but at that moment he knew it was meant for us.  Again, we knew that Heavenly Father knows us. We have been so grateful for other blessings we have received like being able to borrow my brother's car so we could go to Thanksgiving or receiving $80 in gift cards to use at restaurants in November or receiving numerous goodies from neighbors.  I am so grateful for these reminders that we have received during this trial. I don't know how everything will work out. If things don't work out at his job I know that the Lord has something else in mind for us and we will pray that we can be directed to where we need to go, but right now I do not doubt that my Heavenly Father is there and that he hears and answers our prayers. 

Rex's Birth

 

We found out we were pregnant with baby #7 in November 2019.  We were so excited because we had been trying for a couple years. Overall the pregnancy went very well. As we got closer to the due date we learned that the baby was breach.  We kept waiting hoping that the baby would turn. The baby wasn't turning though so we decided to have a version done to see if we could get the baby to turn to avoid a c-section. We went to the hospital early on the 17th of July when I was 38 weeks.  They gave me some medicine to relax my muscles and then the doctor came in and pushed on my stomach.  It hurt a lot. Luckily the baby turned and we were able to go home after being watched for a couple of hours to make sure that the baby was handling it well. After that we waited and waited for the baby to decide to come.  It's due date was 7/31/2020 which was Ben's birthday. The week before my due date I started itching a lot.  I couldn't sleep because I itched everywhere. I had been itching for a lot of the pregnancy, but this was even worse. I asked my doctor about it at my appointment that week and she told me it didn't make sense to test my blood because it takes a couple days to get the results back and by then I might have already had the baby and the only way to fix it was to deliver the baby.  So she asked when I would be miserable if I hadn't had the baby yet.  I told her Monday, August 3rd. We scheduled an induction for that day figuring that I would never get to that date. My parents came up for the weekend hoping that I would go into labor. It didn't happen. Also, over the weekend we discovered that they had just changed the hospital policies because of increasing COVID-19 cases. They only allowed one person in the delivery room with you. So my Mom wouldn't be able to come. When they found that out on Sunday they decided to take the kids home with them. Monday morning we got up and checked into the hospital. The doctor came and broke my water around 9 am. He said the baby was up extremely high, like +4 station. I could tell to because when he went to break my water it really hurt where with other babies it hasn't. Contractions didn't really start at all so they came and started some pitocin to help get things moving. Finally contractions started and it didn't take long for me to feel like I couldn't get ahead of them. (After having Rex I learned that I had a UTI which was why I couldn't breath through the contractions. It also had been causing me cramping before I even went into labor, but I just assumed it was because I was going to go into labor soon.) I told Joe to let the nurses know I was ready for an epidural. He went and told them and they came and started IV fluids. They told me I had to have a complete bag of fluid before they would start the epidural. I sat on an exercise ball trying to breath through the contractions while we waited. Finally, I asked Joe what was taking them so long because I had gone through the bag of fluid and they still hadn't come. He got up to go ask and the anesthesiologist walked in the room right then. They had me get up on the bed and swing my legs over the side.  Finally I had the epidural and I was able to relax a little bit. My legs felt completely numb. After a couple hours I got to the point that I felt like I needed to push soon but I wanted to wait longer so the baby could come down lower so I didn't tell anyone.  When they came and checked me they said I was complete with a little lip. I had kind of done what I've done with other babies where it takes me forever to get to complete when I'm dilated to an 8. They called the doctor and she came to the hospital. While we were waiting the nurse had me do a couple practice pushes. When the doctor finally got there she checked and had me start pushing for real.  She said the baby was still up a little high. He was having some heart decelerations too. Also, there had been meconium when they broke my water. After 3 pushes Rex was born. The doctor was interested to see how long he was because she said he was really long for such a short Mom.  She asked where I'd been hiding him. We were very surprised it was another boy as we had been thinking we had another girl. We were excited to have another boy though. He was 9 lb 5 oz and 21.75 in long.  He was cute and calm from the beginning. We stayed at the hospital with him for 2 nights. He did really well. The other 6 kids stayed with grandma and grandpa for a week. They got to go to the cabin which they loved! When they all got to meet Rex they were so excited. He has been such a chill baby.  He spits up a ton. He sleeps a lot. He started smiling before he was even two weeks old. 

My Little Helper

Tonight, as I was making dinner, all the children were downstairs watching TV.  I heard Aiden talking like he was yelling up the stairs, but figured he was talking to the other kids from a different room.  He was saying, "I help you. You need that? Okay, I'll get it." and on and on.  A little bit later I heard him coming up the stairs.  I asked what he was doing he said, "I got it for you Mom. I help you."  I asked him what he got, and he said, "Sweet Potatoes!"   He then walked into the kitchen with some sweet potatoes.  I hadn't asked for any sweet potatoes and we didn't need them for dinner, but I thought it was sweet that he brought some for me.  He is such a good kid and loves to help.

Aiden's Heart Murmur

 The morning after Aiden was born when the nurses were switching shifts we learned that he had a heart murmur.  The doctor told us it was probably no big deal and not to worry about it. He said it should go away by 24 hours. When 24 hours was over he still had the heart murmur so the doctor said to give it 48 hours. At 48 hours he still had a heart murmur so they decided to do an echocardiogram. They did the echo and then sent us on our way before having results. We had an hour drive and when we got home there was a message from our doctor that they had read his echo and his heart murmur was a bigger deal than they thought. We learned that he has a unicuspid aortic valve with moderate aortic stenosis. Basically he only has one cuspid on his aortic valve instead of the three he's supposed to have and his valve was narrowing causing additional pressure. There was also mild leakage. They were concerned because things can turn south rather quickly with a newborn in regards to heart problems.  They wanted us to bring him back the next day to get checked and then we had several follow ups with the cardiologist.  By the end of October things had started getting worse and he was to the point that his pressures on the valve were too much and they decided he needed to have a balloon valvoplasty. He was scheduled for November 3rd. We let the members of our ward know what was going on an they decided to do a fast for him the Sunday before the procedure.  We went in for the procedure on the 3rd expecting to stay the night in the hospital after the procedure.  We also were expecting a couple hours for the procedure. After about 35 minutes we received word that he was done.  We went to go meet with the doctor and he said everything went really well and they learned a lot by doing the procedure but they ended up not doing the balloon valvoplasty only a catheterization because once they got into his heart they discovered his pressures were much better than the echo showed and they didn't need to increase the hole size at all. They also learned that he has an aortic aneurysm which they weren't aware of before.  He said he didn't understand how he had improved.  They could see the slight hardening of his heart that had them worried but the pressure wasn't where it had been.  We knew that it was a miracle from the lord because of the fast that we had done. We also didn't have to stay the night in the hospital because he didn't have the balloon valvoplasty done. We just waited 6 hours for the hole to heal enough so that we could go home. He has been doing well since the procedure. 

Aiden's Birth

 We were so happy to find out we were pregnant with another baby. My due date was August 17, 2014. I thought for sure would go into labor a week early or at least before my due date.  It didn't happen though.  I was determined to wait until this baby decided to come on it's own though instead of being induced. I had polyhydramnios though which is extra water in the bag of waters. The doctors were concerned and I was having non stress tests done to make sure everything was ok. As they were testing though this little baby was extremely active. He rarely stopped moving. On Saturday, August 16th we were eating dinner and I started to have some contractions. The hospital we were going to was 45 minutes away in Murray. We decided to head to the hospital. By the time we got to the hospital the contractions had stopped. Joe and I decided to walk around the outside of the hospital for a bit to see if the would start again and that worked. We went to check into the hospital and they put us in a room right away since it was my 5th baby so they thought I'd go fast. It was about 10:30 pm at this point. They were still just monitoring though to make sure I was really in labor. When the doctor came in to check he said, "Let's have a baby" and came and broke my bag of waters. He'd been concerned about my water breaking away from the hospital because of the polyhydramnios so he was happy we had come in. I decided to get the epidural right away. Then we called my parents to let them know. They said they were on their way. I had told the nurse that I tend to stall so she decided we weren't going to let that happen again so she had me in different positions to help out. I did get sick and threw up, which I had hoped wouldn't happen. About 2:15 am on the 17th I started to feel pushy. They came and checked me, but didn't say much.  They asked when my parent's were supposed to get there. We said it should be anytime. Right then they walked in the room and the nurse said, "It's time! Let's have a baby!" After a few pushes Aiden Michael Neratko was born at 2:37 am. He was 8 lbs 13 oz and 21 in. long.